A Guide To Coordinated Wedding Attire For Same-Sex Spouses

By  The Groom Club Editors 
Updated on 09/08/22
Wedding

Part of the Wedding

A Guide To Coordinated Wedding Attire For Same-Sex Spouses

By  The Groom Club Editors 
Updated on 09/08/22

To put it simply, your wedding day is a banner moment in the story of your relationship. It represents a deep, unwavering commitment shared between two individuals who have chosen to spend their lives together. Beautiful, isn’t it?

While all weddings share a common theme of joy and togetherness, there can be unique considerations for LGBTQ+ couples who are planning the details of their special day. For heterosexual couples, there are oodles of references – magazines, television shows, movies, and more – to help them decide what to wear. But when you’re a same-sex couple, wedding fashion decisions might not be as cut-and-dry. The good news? That means you have more options, and more room to get creative.

Stay True To Yourselves

Above all, make sure you wear something that makes you feel personally comfortable and confident. You may face pressure from the people around you to stick to a traditional black-tie dress code or classic summer suit, but remember, it’s your wedding day. If you want to dress up as Batman and Robin and skateboard down the aisle, it’s your prerogative as a (very cool) couple to do so.

While suits and tuxedos are commonplace, you and your spouse might opt for something less traditional. Weddings are supposed to be fun, after all, and adding personal flair to your wedding wear will help your personality shine through in photos, in videos, and IRL. Bianca Trembley, CEO and Founder of The Best Calgary, sagely told us, “love is always in the details. Your wedding only happens once. You should want to show off your and your partner’s personalities whenever you can.”

Not sure where to start? We’re here to help. Here are all of the things worth considering when deciding what to wear on your wedding day.

Think About Your Theme

Before rushing out the door to your nearest suit store, it’s important to develop a metaphorical vision board that captures the mood of your wedding day. Some questions to ask yourselves are…

  • What time of year is the wedding?
  • Where is your venue?
  • Is the ceremony indoors or outdoors?
  • If it’s an outdoor venue, what is your plan for inclement weather?
  • What are your wedding colors?
  • Is it a casual affair, a black-tie event, or something in the middle?

If you’re jetting off to a beach wedding, for example, it might make sense to avoid stuffy suits and tuxedos altogether. Instead, look into linen garments that still have that polished look without feeling like a sauna suit in the hot sun. Even a nicer-than-average pair of chino pants and a short-sleeve button-up can be the right style for a casual coupling.

If you’ve already decided on wedding colors and other decorative details, use those elements to create a color palette. You don’t necessarily need to show up in a suit that matches your centerpieces, but you’ll want to avoid wearing something that clashes with any existing visual elements. Choose shirt, suit, and tie colors that complement your existing wedding theme.

How To Pick Complementary Colors

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As the old saying goes, opposites attract. That may or may not be the case when it comes to you and your boo, but it does ring true when we’re talking about colors. Finding out what colors complement each other is simple, thanks to online tools and other modern technology. Exploring color palettes is a great way to ensure that the colors you wear stand out without sticking out like a sore thumb.

  • Step One: Determine the HEX code of your primary wedding color. You can find a color’s HEX code by taking a photo of your decor and uploading the image to a service such as imagecolorpicker.com or Canva.The most popular wedding color is sage green and has a HEX code of #BCB88A. We’ll use it for our example.Color of the year
  • Step Two: Input your hex number into a color palette generator. One of the more savvy websites for this task is coolors.co.
  • Step Three: Toggle through different color palette options and pick one that best fits the season of your wedding. For the sage, here are some of the color options we came up with for all four seasons:Palletes
  • Step Four: Pick one of the colors in your seasonally appropriate palette as a color for your suit or if your suit is neutral, as the color of your accessories.

So, you’ve figured out what colors you can wear on your special day. But do you both wear the same color? How about the same accessories? We’ll dive into that next.

Coordinating With Your Partner

There are countless ways to coordinate without “twinning.” Ultimately, you and your partner should look like a pair of individuals, but not a matching pair. By switching up accessories, hairstyles, colors, and more, you can both shine at the same time as you say your vows.

Mixing Patterns and Prints

For a vibrant and bold style, opt for different patterns and prints for each groom. For instance, Groom A could wear a rose-adorned ensemble and Groom B could wear a rose-colored suit or tuxedo. You could even take it up a notch and dress both grooms in patterns. For example, Groom A could dress in red plaid and Groom B could wear a floral ensemble. Don’t be afraid to incorporate this style idea in other unique ways that don’t involve suits, ties, and dress shoes.

Change Up Length

Remember the linen pants we discussed earlier? Sometimes it’s too hot for full-length pants, even if they’re made from linen. Shorts seem ultra-casual for a wedding, but some weddings are in and of themselves ultra-casual, so don’t be afraid to set your calves free and bring a chill vibe to your wedding day.

It’s All In The Socks & Shoes

Socks and shoes are a great way to add some subtle personality to an otherwise straightforward wedding ensemble. Choose fun socks with your favorite patterns, superheroes, or even each other’s faces to lighten up a sometimes too-serious occasion. When you stand, the socks won’t be visible. But when you sit down and your pants come up slightly, an iota of your personality gets to shine through. This means you can be all business at the ceremony, and all party at the reception.

Your shoes don’t have to be black or brown dress shoes, either. Choose fun footwear colors, slip on a pair of brightly colored converse sneakers, or heck, go barefoot! It is your wedding day after all, and you should be comfortable with every detail from the hair on your head to the shoes that carry you to the altar.

Incorporate Something Special

Incorporate Something Special

Little pieces of memories, pets, and hobbies you love are a special way to add finishing touches to your wedding day ensemble. Some couples may choose to physically include their pets in their ceremony. (They are family, after all.)

Even if you’re not a bride, wearing something borrowed from a loved one is a sweet way to add a unique stylistic element to your wedding day attire. Wearing the watch or necklace of somebody who can’t attend your wedding or who has passed can help you feel closer to them on the big day, even if they’re far away or not here on earth anymore.

If you have a child together, consider including them in the ceremony too. You can dress your little one in something that matches both you and your spouse. Not only is having your family together to experience something so beautiful, pretty, special, but your child’s outfit might just be the thing that takes your wedding from great to unforgettable.

Ties, Cufflinks, and Other Tiny Details

The simplest way to coordinate with your partner without outright matching is changing up your accessories. Groom A may choose to wear a traditional necktie, where Groom B might choose to wear a traditional bowtie. Groom A might opt for a solid-colored pocket square, where groom B may choose a patterned pocket square.

If you wear glasses, you could even order a discount pair for the occasion to stay true to yourself, but still adding some pizzazz. Some websites for affordable glasses include Zenni Optical, Warby Parker, and Eye Buy Direct.

Final Thoughts

For LGBTQ+ couples, weddings are that much more meaningful. Marriage is not something that queer folks will ever have the luxury of taking for granted. That said, making sure your day is filled with joy and acceptance is extra important.

As surface-level as it might sound, the clothes you wear can be the first step in making your day memorable and special. Clothes can be a form of boundless self-expression, and being loved for who we truly are is a beautiful thing. So as you’re planning your wedding wear, try to tune out the opinions of others who encourage you to keep things simple or traditional. The person standing across from you is choosing to spend their life with you based on who you are inside, not on the clothes you wear.

Did this article help you decide what to wear to your wedding? We hope you learned a lot about coordinating colors, adding special touches, and finding the perfect color palette.