Surprise! Exciting the Unexcitable

By  Tommy Peske
Updated on 11/20/23
Surprise! Exciting the Unexcitable

Surprise! Exciting the Unexcitable

By  Tommy Peske
Updated on 11/20/23

Part of the Engagement

Surprise! Exciting the Unexcitable

By  Tommy Peske
Updated on 11/20/23

A person surprised

Do you want to show your love through acts and surprise your partner? Great! But what happens when nothing you seem to do impresses them?  Sameera Sullivan, relationship expert, says, “just because it’s difficult, doesn’t mean it’s impossible. By going above and beyond with the thoughts and intentions of your actions toward your partner you’re sure to surprise even the hardest to surprise!”

Planning a surprise for your partner can be a great act of love because it’s personal and can take a lot of time to plan. However, if they’re hard to please or if you’ve been together a really long time, it can be really hard to genuinely surprise and impress them. 

Now, if you’re thinking of planning a perfect surprise proposal, there’s a whole different level of pressure to make it meaningful. 

Here are some ways and ideas for you to make any surprise (big or small) impressive and meaningful for your partner:


What if my partner doesn’t like surprises?

Let’s say you want to surprise your partner with something lovely, but you know that your partner hates surprises. What do you do? 

There’s a wide variety of reasons why your partner might not like surprises. 

Your partner might not like a lot of attention on them, they might not like something that’s unpredictable, and they might not be comfortable in new situations. You know your partner more than anyone else. Try to figure out the reason why they don’t like surprises and cater your surprise to fit their needs. The surprise should never be about you and the clout you’ll get for pulling it off. It should be about your partner and showing them how much you care. If you make that the focus and priority of whatever surprise you’re planning, you can’t go wrong.

A person surprised by a gift

Simple surprises that are meaningful

Sometimes the best surprises aren’t grand gestures of love. Love and impressive expressions can be found even in the tiniest moments. It’s cliche, but it’s cliche because it’s true. Another great thing about small surprises is that it won’t take a huge time out of your busy day to implement. 

Simple surprises are great if you and your partner have been together for a long time and you’ve gotten trapped in a routine. It may seem like  your partner is hard to please or impress, but when was the last time you did something new or spontaneous?  

At the end of the day, the most important part about any surprise or gesture is the kindness and thought behind it. Taking an extra step, no matter how small, to show your partner that you love and appreciate them can be really meaningful and impress your partner in an important way.

small, every day surprises that’ll impress your partner


Here are some small, every day surprises that’ll impress your partner and make them smile: 

  • Leave little notes around the house for them to find throughout the day
  • Leave them a sweet voicemail out of the blue for no reason other than to let them know that you love them
  • Surprise them with tickets to an event to something they love-Check to see if one of their favorite bands, speakers, authors, etc. are coming to town and buy tickets for the event without them having to ask 
  • Book reservations at a nice new restaurant and have a surprise date night at the end of a long work week 
  • Book a hotel room for the night- This is great if you’ve been together for a long time and are just looking to have a  change of pace. The hotel doesn’t even have to be out-of-town. Sometimes having a change in scenery can make all the difference and feel really special.
  • Plan a date around something they love- do an activity that your partner loves, but you don’t. Because you don’t love it, they probably don’t get to do it as often as they want. Put  whatever you  don’t like about it aside and enjoy whatever it is because they enjoy it
  • Let them have some alone time – Although this doesn’t sound super romantic, if your partner is an introvert, having some scheduled alone time is the greatest gift they can receive. Plus, it’s the  easiest thing for you to do for them. It’s a win-win.

Surprises for important events

If your partner isn’t wary of having the spotlight on them or experiencing new things, it’s a fun idea to plan a surprise around an important event in their life. Is it their birthday? Did they just land their dream job? A great way to celebrate big wins is through unexpected surprises. 

Here are a few different ideas on how you can make these life-events even more memorable: 

  • Help them check something off of their bucket list 
  • Take them on a surprise trip-Wake them up one morning and tell them to pack their things. You’ve already talked to their boss and they have a week off of work. Take them to the airport and head over to a mystery destination. The spontaneity of it all is sure to impress them. 
  • Host a surprise party-Sure, it’s not the most original idea, but who hasn’t dreamt of having a surprise birthday party? It’s an easy way to surprise the person you love and it takes a lot of work that your partner will appreciate. As an added bonus, they get to celebrate their birthday with all their favorite people.

A man surprising his partner


How to pull off the picture-perfect surprise proposal

The biggest surprise you can possibly plan in a relationship is a surprise proposal. It’s a huge, romantic gesture for the most important question of your life. 

However, before you start planning a surprise proposal, go back to thinking about your partner first. Surprise proposals aren’t for everyone. Before you start planning your proposal, make sure you two are aligned on your vision for the future. Make sure you’ve explicitly talked about getting married and spending your lives together before asking them to marry you. Nothing would be worse for them than being asked a question they don’t know the answer to, and nothing would be worse for you than getting rejected.

If your partner doesn’t like surprises because it’s unknown, maybe a surprise proposal isn’t for them. And that’s okay. Try to find a more intimate and planned way to pop the question. 

In a different scenario, a surprise proposal could be the perfect route for you to go in your relationship. Due to proposal traditions, your partner might (ironically) be expecting a surprise proposal from you. A surprise proposal really highlights how much you love a person because you went above and beyond to make this once-in-a-lifetime experience special for them. 

If your partner is down for the unknown and loves surprises, but is hard to impress, that’s okay too. There are many ways to make a surprise proposal go above and beyond their wildest dreams. 

Tips for planning a proposal

When you’re planning your surprise proposal, make sure you’re picky about who you tell. You don’t want to tell their best friend who tells them everything because then your surprise is ruined. Depending on your plan for the surprise, you might need some outside help to make it a reality. If you do, make sure you pick people who won’t act off around your (hopefully) future fiance and who won’t let slip what’s about to happen. 

Going off of planning the actual proposal, make sure it’s meaningful to you and your partner. If you’re looking for a way to impress your partner during your proposal, the more meaningful it is, the better. Don’t just pop the question in front of a pretty sunset because it’s pretty and that’s it. Include personal details about them and your relationship into the whole execution of the proposal. The most tailored it is to you two, the more unique it will be, and the more impressed your partner will feel. 

Here are a few proposal ideas to get you started thinking about personalizing your proposal:

  • Recreate your first date- this will automatically transport your partner back to when they first fell in love with you. It’ll also be unique because no one else has the same first date as you two. 
  • Recreate a movie scene-Pick a romantic scene out of one of your partner’s favorite movies and recreate it for them, with the finale being the proposal. This one will take quite a bit of planning, but the reward for that planning will be priceless. 

Invite friends and family over- If your partner really values their family and friends, invite them all over for a casual game night or dinner. Work in a special way to pop the question in front of everyone. This way, your partner can share this memory with everyone they care about and can celebrate with them.

Overall thoughts

In the end, surprises are all about showing your partner that you love them in a new and unexpected way. Surprises, no matter how big (proposal) or small (notes) always lead to a greater sense of intimacy between two people and can help move any relationship into a deeper love.

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