There’s nothing quite like wedding jitters, the feeling of nervous excitement in the pit of your stomach and the butterflies fluttering around in your chest. It’s normal to feel a little anxious before getting married. After all, it’s a big step!
Don’t be alarmed if your nerves are ramping up before your wedding. Between the stress of planning the wedding and uncertainty about impending changes, there’s a reason many grooms get cold feet.
Just because you’re nervous about your upcoming nuptials doesn’t mean you should call off the wedding. Discover five tips for managing pre wedding jitters and turn your anxiety into excitement.
It’s completely normal to feel a little bit nervous before your wedding. If you feel yourself getting cold feet, start by taking a step back to remember why you’re getting married in the first place.
Remember how your partner makes you feel – happy, loved, and comforted. Recall the special moments you’ve shared and your plans for the future. Above all, think about why you fell in love with your bride-to-be.
Maybe it’s the way she makes you laugh or commiserates with you when you’ve had a hard day. Perhaps it’s because she’s your best friend and you can’t imagine spending your life without her.
Also, remind yourself of the small things you love about your bride, the things that make her special. Hold onto those memories and let them guide you as you reassure yourself it’s just nerves you’re feeling. Marrying the right person is worth any nerves you might have along the way.
If you are feeling cold feet coming on, a trusted friend or family member can be a great sounding board for your pre-wedding jitters. They can offer support and advice and help you to see things from a different perspective.
Talking to someone who’s been through the wedding process before can be particularly helpful. They can share their experiences and insights and help you feel prepared for what’s ahead. They probably had the same worries you have, so ask them how they dealt with their pre-wedding nerves.
Try to steer clear of those people in your life who are pessimistic about the institution of marriage and those who disagree with your choice of partner. Unless they have valid reasons against the union, these naysayers will only increase your pre-wedding anxiety and make you second-guess yourself. Confide your concerns with your trusted friends, who will understand that nerves don’t mean you shouldn’t get married.
It’s essential to practice open and honest communication with your partner during the wedding planning process. If you’re feeling cold feet, don’t be afraid to talk to your future wife about it. In fact, she might be feeling the same way.
You can help each other through any shared nervousness by reassuring each other that you’re still excited about the wedding. You will grow stronger as a couple by problem-solving together to reduce your stress and anxiety.
With your partner, brainstorm a few things that you’re especially looking forward to about the big day itself and the rest of the days of your life. This will help put you both into a positive mindset and give you some things to look forward to.
It can also be helpful to talk about any concerns you have with your partner about your relationship. They might be able to help put your mind at ease. Communication skills are key, so don’t be afraid to discuss your feelings.
Kirsten McKinley, founder of Weddings & Brides, recommends including a first look between the groom and bride, right before the ceremony. “This allows the bride and groom to have a few quiet moments together before the ceremony so that they can reassure each other that they are in it together and that the ceremony is going ahead as planned, doubts cast aside.”
Much of your pre-wedding anxiety is likely due to your endless to-do list. One of the best ways to reduce your stress is to get organized.
Make a list of everything you need to get done before the big day. Getting it all down on paper can help you stay calm and focused and allow you to track your progress as you complete tasks so you won’t fall behind.
Start by knocking the big things off your list: setting your budget, making your guest list, booking a venue, hiring a photographer, and ordering your wedding invitations. Once the larger tasks are done, you can focus on the specifics. The more you cross off your list, the less overwhelmed you’ll feel.
Split the tasks with your partner, so you know what you are responsible for. If you can’t manage your entire list, you can
always delegate to your groomsmen or family members. They’ll probably be happy to help shoulder some of the responsibility. If you’re really feeling overwhelmed and looking to offload the stress, consider hiring a wedding planner. A good wedding planner will make sure everything is in place for the big day so you can focus on your spouse, your family, and yourself.
As your wedding day approaches, practice self-soothing techniques that can help you relax and de-stress on your own. Self-soothing can be anything that engages your senses to reduce anxiety. These techniques aim to get out of your head and into the present moment.
Explore some common self-soothing techniques that can help you reduce your pre-wedding jitters.
Spend some alone time in nature, or just walk around the block. Direct sunlight on the skin helps your body maintain healthy levels of Vitamin D, which has been shown in clinical trials to reduce symptoms of depression.
Spending time alone allows you to sort your thoughts and practice mindfulness, which has been shown to benefit anxiety similarly to cognitive-behavioral therapy.
Aerobic exercise such as jogging, biking, or swimming has been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety in the long term. Cardiovascular exercise releases endorphins and promotes a positive balance of neurotransmitters, reducing anxiety levels.
Weight training has also been shown to significantly reduce feelings of anxiety. You only have to lift weights a few times a week to reap the benefits.
Less intensive activities like stretching, tai chi, and yoga have also been shown to reduce baseline levels of anxiety. While stretching is an effective technique in the short-term, a daily stretching routine will be much more useful in the long run.
Warm showers and baths have been used to treat various ailments (including anxiety) for years. Use a scented candle or essential oils for the added benefits of aromatherapy, which has shown promise in treating anxiety in clinical settings.
Clinical studies have demonstrated the effectiveness of instrumental music in treating anxiety in certain predisposed populations. Instrumental music (like classical or jazz) has been shown to be the most beneficial, but listening to your favorite album while walking is a great way to alleviate stress and give you some time to think.
Mindful breathing techniques have shown incredible promise in treating anxiety and panic attacks. They can be used anywhere and at any time, even at the altar!
One of the most popular breathing techniques for anxiety is the 3-4-5 method. This technique involves deeply inhaling for a count of three, holding that breath for a count of four, and exhaling for a count of five.
Slow, deep breathing can help expand your lungs, massage your organs, and increase oxygen absorption and supply in your body. Focused breathing strategies can improve your sleep quality, so practice deep breathing the night before your wedding.
Clinical trials have shown that patients who practice positive affirmations see increased brain activity in areas associated with self-processing and valuation. This technique involves repeating short, positive statements either out loud or in your head, like “I can do this” or “I am worthy of love.” Positive affirmations can improve your self-confidence and help you shift to a positive mindset.
If your nerves are high before your wedding, try implementing these techniques to transform your anxiety into excitement. Take action so you don’t get too lost in your jitters to sit back and enjoy a piece of wedding cake on the big day.
For more tips and tricks on how to be your best groom, visit The Groom Club today. We’ve got you covered from proposal to honeymoon, with bachelor party ideas, wedding etiquette tips, and how to deal with pre-wedding drama.
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