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In today’s world, the rules of who pays for the wedding have become flexible. But traditionally, there are components that the groom’s family has paid for and helps to organize, such as setting up the engagement party and rehearsal dinner and paying for the wedding flowers.
Here’s what the groom’s parents might consider taking on during the wedding planning process, especially if tradition is important.
As you and your partner get deeper into wedding planning, here’s what the groom’s parents’ responsibilities may entail.
It’s standard etiquette for the groom’s parents to acquaint themselves with the bride’s parents well before the wedding day. Aside from getting to know the family and putting names to faces, it helps break the ice and establish vital lines of communication crucial to the wedding planning process.
After the initial meeting, both the bride and groom’s parents will probably chat more often as planning gets underway. This is important because there are so many facets, and something can easily get lost in translation if it’s not communicated effectively. It’s also key to tackle sensitive subjects like the wedding budget openly and honestly, so everyone is on the same page.
The engagement party was traditionally the responsibility of the bride’s parents. Nowadays, though, if the bride’s parents are footing most of the wedding bill, they may request the groom’s parents take on this early party.
The groom’s parents may weigh in regarding wedding guests and family members to invite. They may need to provide contact details for sending invitations as well as information regarding potential seating plan conflicts for the wedding party. If Uncle Marc can’t sit next to Aunt Suzy without causing a massive scene, they’ll want to communicate that ahead of time.
Unless you’ve hired a wedding planner, the groom’s parents should offer planning assistance, especially if they have connections that could help secure good deals with vendors or are skilled in a wedding-related area such as flower arranging or tailoring.
Ultimately, the couple decides which customs and traditions to include in their wedding. If the groom decides they would like to incorporate their parents’ customs and traditions into the wedding ceremony, then the groom’s parents should help facilitate.
Is the groom’s family supposed to play a part in the ceremony and give speeches during the wedding day? Yes, absolutely.
Traditionally, the groom’s father should give a speech during the rehearsal dinner, and the groom’s mother might perform a reading during the ceremony.
Traditionally, the groom’s parents plan, organize, and pay for the rehearsal dinner. However, they should not do so without first conferring with the couple about who to invite and their preferences.
Finally, the “mother/son dance” is a much-loved wedding tradition during the reception. Together, the two should pick a cherished song for their dance and practice it ahead of time.
The bride’s family wedding expenses can add up quickly, so traditionally, the groom’s side will help with certain wedding costs.
Here’s what the groom’s parents traditionally pay for.
If they’re the ones to organize and host the engagement party, the groom’s parents cover the cost of it as well. Some believe the groom’s family pays for the bridal shower too, but this isn’t customary.
Sometimes, the parents of the groom pay for the wedding accommodations of the groom and groom crew, if needed. The bride’s side covers these costs for her chosen wedding party members.
The bride’s future in-laws traditionally pay for the wedding flowers, including the bride’s bouquet, boutonnieres, and corsages.
Paying for and organizing the rehearsal dinner is one of the most substantial ways the groom’s parents contribute to the wedding costs. According to The Knot’s Real Wedding Study, the average cost of a rehearsal dinner is around $2,700.
In the past, tradition held that the bride’s parents paid for the entire wedding, while the groom’s parents paid for the honeymoon. However, this arrangement is very unusual in modern times and the newlyweds usually pay for the trip themselves, or they set up honeymoon funds in which guests can contribute monetary gifts.
The groom’s family typically covers the cost of the marriage license and officiant fee.
Another wedding day cost that the groom’s family has traditionally paid for is any alcohol served during the wedding reception. This may include the Champagne toast, cocktail hour, wine served at tables, and an open bar. The groom’s family may also cover the cost of any reception entertainment, such as a band or DJ.
If the couple is following tradition, the groom’s parents may pay for the rehearsal dinner, the honeymoon, the wedding reception entertainment and bar supplies, the marriage license, the wedding flowers, the engagement party, and the groom’s wedding accommodations.
The groom’s parents are responsible for assisting with the guest list and organizing the engagement party and rehearsal dinner. They also should meet the bride’s parents, write speeches, and arrange the “mother/son dance” as part of the wedding planning.
Like the bride’s mother, the mother of the groom has an important role on the wedding day, including offering a reading at the ceremony, participating in the receiving line, and dancing with her son during the reception.
Although it’s not customary, it is a thoughtful gesture for the mother of the groom to present the bride with a gift, keepsake, or sentimental item before the wedding.
No matter who pays, wedding costs can quickly spiral out of control. At The Groom Club, we know that no wedding is worth financial hardship, so we have a ton of articles to help you plan, budget, save money, and sensibly manage your costs.
